If you’re anything like me, you’ve learned that parenting has its fair share of highs and lows. At times, I can’t imagine doing anything other than being a mama to my sweet baby girl. Then at other times, I find myself craving the independence and freedom I used to have. And on top of it all, being an introverted mom means I constantly feel as if I am lonely yet simultaneously deprived of “me time.”
No, that doesn’t really make sense when I say it out loud, but it happens. As a mom, you don’t get very much time to yourself, and yet you are also often stuck at home without much adult interaction.
I end up in this weird mental place where I want to get out of the house and see people because I have been spending so much time at home with my baby, and yet getting out of the house to see people sounds exhausting, so I just want to stay home.
Can anyone else relate to this complicated, introverted mom twilight zone?
There are a few strategies I’ve tried implementing that have helped me find that delicate balance between being an amazing and present mom, having my own (modest) social life, and honoring my introverted personality. Hopefully, some of them resonate with you!
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1. Embrace “Me Time”
As introverts, we thrive in solitude and quiet moments. As moms, “me time” is often shoved under the rug with stale cheerios and your missing car keys. But it’s pretty important to carve out some dedicated “me time” in your schedule. This time can be early in the morning, nap time, or after the kids are in bed – whatever works best for you. What matters is that you actually use that time for yourself. Not for cleaning, work, showering, or cooking… for you.
For me, early mornings before the chaos ensues are my saving grace. And I am NOT a morning person. However, I find when I can drag myself out of bed before my baby wakes up, the entire tone of my day changes. I’m able to drink my coffee while it’s hot; I remember to eat breakfast, and I put on some of my favorite music in the kitchen.
Whether it’s reading a book, practicing yoga, or indulging in a hobby, this precious time sets the tone for the rest of the day. Use this time to recharge your batteries, engage in hobbies, or simply enjoy some peace and quiet. Remember, taking care of yourself is crucial for being the best parent you can be.
I think if you try it for a week or two, you won’t regret making early morning “me time” a part of your daily mom routine.
Also, be sure to read my article 5 Things You Can do Every Morning to Start Your Day Off Right as a Mom!
2. Set Boundaries
Communicate your need for alone time to your partner, family members, and friends (remember the kiddos if they are old enough to understand!) Let them know that it’s not personal; it’s just how you recharge. Establish clear boundaries and find a balance that works for everyone involved.
It’s okay to say “no” to social gatherings or politely decline playdate invitations if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Your mental health matters just as much, if not more than, that play date! Trust me, once friends and family begin to understand and respect your introverted nature, it becomes easier to recharge without guilt or hurt feelings.
If you have a hard time saying no, you need to pause here and go read my article on Setting Boundaries and Saying No as a Mom.
3. Create Your Own “Introverted Mom” Space
Designate a cozy corner or a special room in your home where you can retreat when you need a break or where you can spend your “me time.” Fill it with your favorite books, a comfy chair, or your favorite music. This space will serve as your own little introverted mom recharge zone, where you can rest and breathe.
For me, it’s actually my office! My husband got me a nice comfy desk chair to sit at my computer with so I can spend time doing things I love, like editing my photography or creating new digital designs for my Etsy shop. I like to make myself a cup of tea (with lots of honey), prop up my feet, play some country music, and create. Oh, and I typically do it all in my favorite bamboo pajamas.
Having a space where you can be alone and enjoy your “me time” in peace is vital for finding balance amidst the chaos of motherhood.
4. Find Supportive Communities
Connect with fellow introverted moms who understand your struggles and share your need for solitude. Join online communities, Facebook groups (you should also considering joining ours!), forums, or local parent groups where you can swap stories, exchange advice, and find support. Sometimes, knowing that you’re not the only mom out there living in the introverted motherhood twilight zone can make all the difference.
5. Simplify Your Schedule
Avoid overbooking yourself and your family. Choose activities and commitments that align with your values and bring you joy. It’s perfectly fine to have some downtime and not feel the need to fill every moment with activities. Quality over quantity, my friends.
We live in a society that glorifies busyness, but as introverted mamas, we know the value of quality over quantity. Streamline your family’s schedule by carefully selecting activities and commitments that align with your values and enhance the quality of time spent together. Sometimes it’s important to have downtime and embrace the art of doing nothing. This allows you to recharge and show up as the best version of yourself for your little ones. And speaking of doing nothing, it is not your job as a mom to keep your child entertained all day long! Independent play is a learned and essential skill and coincidentally provides you with another opportunity to embrace your introverted personality as a mom.
I understand the pressure to fill every moment with activities for your kids when society makes you believe that’s the measure of a good mom. But as you simplify your schedule, you’ll notice that your children will thrive in those moments of unstructured play and quiet creativity. They just might find their own little worlds in the backyard, build forts with pillows, or create magnificent stories using their imaginations.
Embracing the beauty of simplicity not only brought us all joy but also allowed me to find balance and recharge.
[Related Post: 25 Activities for Your Kids to Encourage Creative Play]
6. Practice Self-Compassion
Momming is tough. There’s no way around it. And introverted moms face unique obstacles. Don’t beat yourself up for needing alone time or feeling drained after social interactions. Give yourself permission to recharge without guilt. Remember, you’re doing an incredible job raising your little ones, and taking care of yourself is also benefiting your family.
I hope these quick tips can give you some new ideas and inspiration on your introverted motherhood journey! Finding balance is ongoing and changing, so experiment, adjust, and embrace your unique parenting style. You’re doing an incredible job, mama! Keep rocking mom life while staying true to yourself.
Jess
