As a new mom, I was thrilled to welcome my little bundle of joy into the world. However, what I didn’t expect was the toll that the fourth trimester would take on my body and mind.
This post is a raw and honest reflection on the ugly truths about the fourth trimester that nobody talks about, from postpartum hair loss and night sweats to postpartum care and recovery.
Postpartum hair loss was one of my most unexpected and frustrating physical changes.
I remember feeling anxious as the hair kept coming out with each brush stroke and shower. It was a stark reminder that my body was still undergoing significant changes even after giving birth.
But hair loss was only one aspect of the physical challenges of the fourth trimester. The recovery period can be challenging, with intense soreness, discomfort, and even the need for postpartum diapers those first few days.
Beyond the physical discomfort, the lack of sleep during the fourth trimester was brutal. Night sweats were a common occurrence, and I found myself constantly changing my clothes and bedding in the middle of the night. The exhaustion and sleep deprivation also took a toll on my mental health, leaving me feeling overwhelmed and anxious.
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Speaking of mental health, the fourth trimester can be an emotionally challenging time. I experienced a range of feelings, from intense love and joy to overwhelming anxiety and fear. I often felt guilty for not being able to enjoy every moment of motherhood, and it was challenging to navigate the complex emotions that came with this new phase of life.
In addition to the emotional and physical struggles, the fourth trimester can also be isolating.
Getting out of the house can be difficult with a new baby to care for and physical restrictions during the postpartum recovery phase. It became easy to feel disconnected from the world around me, and I missed the social interactions and activities I once took for granted and longed for a sense of normalcy.
[Related post: 20 Positive Postpartum Affirmations]
In this post, I’ll share some ugly truths about the fourth trimester, from common postpartum symptoms to the challenges of postpartum recovery and care.
I hope I can help other new moms feel less alone in their struggles.
The fourth trimester may not be easy, but it’s a necessary time of growth and transformation for both mother and baby.
Even now, I still have to remind myself on tough days, “This is only a phase.”
Postpartum Sleep Deprivation
Sleep deprivation is one of the fourth trimester’s most common and challenging aspects. Newborns have tiny stomachs (about the size of a marble when they are born) so they need to eat frequently.
[Related post: Is the SNOO worth it?]
This means parents can expect to be up every few hours at night to keep that little baby fed. In addition to feeding, newborns also require frequent diaper changes, which can further disrupt sleep for both parents and babies.
This constant waking can leave new parents feeling like they are in perpetual exhaustion, sometimes even struggling to function on a basic level. Sleep deprivation can seriously affect mental and physical health, from impairing cognitive function to weakening the immune system.
As hard as it can be, it’s so important to make sleep a priority during the fourth trimester. Adjust your expectations and don’t be afraid to ask for help from family and friends. Leave the dishes in the sink! Let the dirty laundry pile up. Your health and your baby are the most important right now.
I know they are expensive, but also consider a SNOO bassinet. If buying one outright doesn’t fit in your budget, you can actually rent a SNOO! Think of it as money invested in your sleep and health… which is something that you really should be prioritizing right now!
Take advantage of any opportunity to catch up on sleep, whether it’s napping during the day when the baby is sleeping (I hate the phrase, “sleep when baby is sleeping” because it oversimplifies reality, but if you happen to catch an opportunity to nap at the same time, take it!) or going to bed early in the evening.
Consider hiring a babysitter or asking a family member to watch the baby for a few hours so you can get some uninterrupted rest. Establish a bedtime routine for yourself and the baby that helps signal to your bodies and minds that it’s time to sleep. This could include taking a warm bath, drinking a soothing tea, or reading a book before bed. Remember, getting enough sleep is essential to your physical and mental health during the fourth trimester – do what you can to rest and give your body time to recover!
[Related post: Breastfeeding 101]
Postpartum Hormonal Changes
As a new mom, your body goes through significant hormonal changes during the fourth trimester, which can lead to mood swings, anxiety, and even depression. It’s important to know that these changes are normal and not a reflection of your abilities as a mother. Don’t hesitate to seek help from healthcare professionals or loved ones if you’re feeling overwhelmed or struggling with your emotions. Remember to take care of yourself and prioritize your mental health during this challenging but rewarding time.
[Related post: How to Beat Your Postpartum Baby Blues]
Breastfeeding Difficulties
Breastfeeding can be tough, and you’re not alone if you’re having difficulties. It’s important to know that it’s completely normal to struggle in the beginning, and it doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom. There is this idea many moms have that because breastfeeding is natural, it should be easy… but this is not true!
Seek help from a lactation consultant, nurse, or other healthcare provider to get the support and guidance you need. They can help with issues like latching, engorgement, and sore nipples. There are even some great breastfeeding courses you can take online while you lay in bed and rest.
Remember to take care of yourself too, with plenty of water, healthy foods, rest, and grace. If you do decide to switch to formula, that’s okay too! The most important thing is that your baby is getting the nourishment they need, and they have a loving mama who is physically and mentally healthy.
Postpartum Body Odor
You may have noticed some changes in your body odor. It’s totally normal and nothing to be ashamed of. Postpartum body odor is a real thing and it’s caused by a few different factors. First off, your hormones are all over the place after giving birth. This can cause changes in your body odor as your sweat glands are affected. This will subside as your hormones regulate. Some research suggests the odor is an intentional byproduct of those hormones meant to help your newborn baby recognize mom through their sense of smell (even from across the house).
Another factor is breastfeeding. When you breastfeed, your body releases a hormone called prolactin. This hormone can cause you to sweat more, which can lead to increased body odor. Again, totally normal and nothing to be alarmed about.
Also, postpartum bleeding smells like death.
So, what can you do about it? First and foremost, make sure you’re showering regularly and washing your underarms thoroughly. You can also try using a natural deodorant or antiperspirant to help control the odor. And of course, wearing clean clothes and practicing good hygiene habits can go a long way.
Postpartum body odor is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s a natural part of the postpartum experience and will eventually fade away along with many of your other postpartum symptoms. Just take care of yourself and don’t be afraid to reach out to your healthcare provider if you have any concerns.
Financial Strain
The cost of baby supplies, healthcare, and lost income due to parental leave can be a significant financial burden. Having a baby is expensive! It’s essential to create a budget and stick to it to avoid overspending during this time. Between buying all the necessary supplies, paying for healthcare, and taking time off work, the cost can quickly add up.
But don’t worry, there are ways to lessen the financial burden. First, consider buying secondhand items or borrowing from friends and family. This can save you a lot of money on baby gear. We have a great thrift store up the road that supports a local high school and I cannot count the number of baby items and clothes we have bought from there to save money.
In addition to managing the costs, you may need to find ways to supplement lost income during parental leave. Consider discussing with your employer the possibility of working part-time or working remotely to maintain some level of income.
You may also look into alternative income sources such as freelancing or taking on a part-time job that fits around your new parenting responsibilities. And be sure to prioritize self-care and mental health during this time of financial stress. Connect with a support group or therapist who can offer guidance and support through challenging times. Every little bit helps when it comes to finances and a new baby.
Postpartum Night Sweats
Alright, let’s talk about postpartum night sweats, mama! After childbirth, it’s common for new moms to experience some pretty intense night sweats. Don’t worry, it’s normal and it’s just your body’s way of getting rid of excess fluids from pregnancy. During pregnancy, your body retains more fluids than usual, and after delivery, your body starts eliminating them, resulting in night sweats.
To help ease these uncomfortable sweats, it’s important to stay hydrated. Drinking plenty of water throughout the day helps replenish the fluids lost during night sweats.
Also, try sleeping with a towel or absorbent cloth underneath you to help absorb the sweat and keep you feeling more comfortable. And don’t forget to keep your bedroom cool and well-ventilated to help regulate your body temperature.
Finally, try investing in moisture-wicking bamboo pajamas or breathable clothing to help keep you dry and comfortable during night sweats. Remember, postpartum night sweats won’t last forever and are just another part of the postpartum journey!
Postpartum Hair Loss
Postpartum hair loss is a common occurrence among new mothers. During pregnancy, the increase in hormones keeps hair from falling out as much as it normally would, but after giving birth, those hormones return to normal levels. As a result, many women experience excessive shedding, which can be alarming and frustrating.
Fortunately, postpartum hair loss is usually temporary, and your hair should start to grow back in a few months (giving you some oh-so-sexy baby hairs around your hairline). In the meantime, there are a few things you can do to help reduce the amount of hair you lose.
One of the best things you can do is to take care of your hair and scalp by using gentle, nourishing products and avoiding tight hairstyles that can put stress on your hair. You may also want to consider changing your diet to include more foods that support healthy hair growth, such as leafy greens, eggs, and nuts. (Read this post for more details on hair care after pregnancy)
Remember, your hair loss is a natural part of the postpartum process, and with a little patience and care, it will grow back, I promise!
Postpartum Bleeding (Lochia)
After you have a baby, you’re going to experience postpartum bleeding whether you gave birth vaginally or through a C-section. In vaginal births, the bleeding is caused by the uterus shedding its lining and healing after delivery.
The bleeding is typically heaviest in the first few days, but it can last for up to six weeks. In C-sections, the bleeding is a result of the incision healing and the uterus contracting back to its pre-pregnancy size. This bleeding may be lighter than in vaginal births, but it can still last for several weeks.
Postpartum bleeding can be pretty heavy at first, and last for several weeks to a month or more. But don’t worry, this is just another phase, and it will pass! One thing that can be a huge help during this time is using postpartum diapers instead of regular pads. They are designed to be more absorbent and comfortable and can make a big difference in how you feel. It’s a good idea to stock up on them before you give birth so you have plenty on hand when you need them.
The bleeding can be heavier after you first get up from lying down, so take it easy and try to rest as much as possible. And make sure you’re getting plenty of fluids since dehydration can make bleeding worse.
You may also see some larger blood clots with your postpartum lochia – anything around the size of a golf ball or smaller is normal. However, if you’re concerned about a larger blood clot, how long the bleeding is lasting, or if you’re experiencing severe pain or fever, it’s always a good idea to check in with your provider. They can help you determine if everything is going as it should be and provide any necessary medical treatment.
Lack of Support Postpartum
The fourth trimester can be emotionally tough, especially when it feels like you’re doing it all alone. One thing you can do is reach out to loved ones and ask for help. Whether it’s someone to watch the baby for a few hours or to run some errands for you, don’t be afraid to lean on those around you. Remember, it takes a village to raise a child!
If you don’t have a village to lean on, you might want to consider reducing stress and eliminating unnecessary tasks from your to-do list. Prioritize your own self-care and the baby’s needs first. This might mean letting go of some household chores or delegating tasks to others.
If you are struggling to find the time to plan out healthy meals for yourself and the family, consider investing $5 one time to get a lifetime subscription to weekly, family-friend meal plans. Read more about it here!
If you’re feeling isolated or lonely, consider joining a new mom’s group or seeking out online support communities (our Facebook group is a great start!). Connecting with other women who are going through similar experiences can be incredibly helpful and validating. You might even make some lifelong friends!
Lastly, don’t forget to take care of your mental health. If you’re struggling with feelings of anxiety or depression, reach out to a healthcare professional for support. There’s no shame in seeking help, and taking care of your mental health is just as important as taking care of your physical health. Remember, you’re not alone, and there are resources out there to help you through the challenges of the fourth trimester.
Postpartum Relationship Stress
It’s completely normal to experience relationship stress during the postpartum period. You and your partner are adjusting to a new life with a baby, and it can be overwhelming. First and foremost, communication is key.
Be open and honest with your partner about your feelings and needs. Don’t bottle up your emotions, as it can lead to resentment and misunderstandings which can escalate quickly amidst the hormones. Try to approach each other with empathy and understanding, even if you’re both exhausted and stressed.
It’s also essential to be patient with each other. Your partner may not understand what you’re going through physically and emotionally, but that doesn’t mean they’re not supportive.
Give each other grace and space to adjust to this new dynamic. Arguments may happen, but it’s important to handle them in a healthy way. Avoid name-calling and focus on the issue at hand.
Take turns listening to each other and try to find a compromise. Remember that you’re both on the same team and want what’s best for your family.
Finally, make time for just the two of you, even if it’s just a few minutes a day. Show gratitude for the things they do, no matter how small. Encourage them to bond with the baby and find their own ways of parenting. With patience, communication, and practical tips, you and your partner can navigate the postpartum period together.
So, what is the fourth trimester?
A time when you and your baby are adjusting to life outside the womb.
This period can be super challenging both physically and emotionally. You might experience hair loss, night sweats, and extreme exhaustion, along with the joy and wonder of getting to know your new bundle of joy. Prioritize taking care of yourself during this time. Get as much sleep as you can, even if it’s just a quick nap here and there. Seek out emotional support from your partner, family, or friends. And don’t be afraid to ask for help with breastfeeding – it’s not always easy, and there’s no shame in seeking advice from a professional.
Just remember, this phase is temporary, and things will get better with time. You’re doing an amazing job, and the most important thing is that you and your baby are happy and healthy. Keep up the great work, mama! And don’t forget to treat yourself to a well-deserved break every once in a while – you deserve it!
Jess
